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Sex can be procreative, a way of creating new life. And I trust you.” Eighteen months later, in the summer of 2018, my son, Judah, spent a week away from home with 30,000 other teenagers at the ELCA’s Youth Gathering in Houston. Published by Convergent, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC.

It can be intimate, a way for love to be expressed between partners. Given all of this, maybe it makes sense that we reach for some rules. Society has to function, and humans can be pretty horrible to each other. There in the brightly lit, high-ceilinged exhibition hall, amid the World Hunger Appeal display, the acoustic music stage, and the pizza vendors, was a small table from a little church in Denver staffed by professional sex educators.

That which has been contained—by social convention and protective psychology and basic clothing for most of my adult life and most of my waking hours—quickens from within. A wildness that desires in equal parts to consume and caress. It is destruction and insistence and risk and the goddamn Easter bunny, all at once.

We are stunting our children by withholding the tools and the wisdom they need for a healthy sexual future, or we are sending them straight to their peers or the Internet for guidance. “I want you to be comfortable in your body and learn what it desires and how to communicate that to your lovers. I added, “If you guys can’t provide these resources to the youth of our church, my own congregation would be willing to . In a study published in the June 2017, researchers found that teen pregnancy rates are 40–50 percent higher than the national average in areas of Texas where abstinence-only education is the law.So I started wondering: What is it within parents that gets in the way of us embracing reality? Obviously, as parents, we are afraid of our children making a temporary choice with a permanent consequence, a moment of pleasure followed by a lifetime of sickness or premature parenthood.” So many of these kids come from areas of the country where the only information available to them is about abstinence. Or the fact that the church would dare to acknowledge it and help to ensure the health and safety of their kids?This could be their only chance to get the guidance they need. you know, at our expense.” I paused, but they were pretty quiet on the other end of the line. Statistically, it’s unlikely that rules against providing guidance on sexual health do anything to keep teenagers from having sex.

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