Dating rules for women over 40
Are these qualities I’m looking for directly related to a man’s ability to make me happy?Are these truly requirements and worthy of dismissing a man who does not possess the quality?Take some advice from a gal who has been there, finally figured “the man-thing out,” got married at 47 and now enjoys a stellar relationship with the perfect man…for me. I mean, after all, if every man you meet is unworthy then there is no risk you’ll actually start dating or get in a relationship!There are two things you can do that will immediately improve your experience with men: 1. Know what you want and must have, and make sure it’s the “Grownup You” doing the picking; not the 18-year-old who still expects all kinds of wacky things that no longer matter and wouldn’t make you happy anyway. Aren’t your “quirks” what you want men to love about you? • How does this belief impact your actions (or inaction), and how is that affecting your outcomes? Yep, that’s a surefire way to avoid ever being hurt or rejected. So what’s the thing about dating that bothers you most? All the good ones are taken…check this out: If you live anywhere near a major metro area, and are looking for a man over 40, 5’8” or taller, college educated, non-smoking, making a higher than median income…statistics say that there are over 2000 of these guys within 20 miles of you looking for love online. As long as you let yourself believe that your lack of connection with a good man is about T-H-E-M…then you don’t have to take responsibility. DO NOT tell me that in the first 10 minutes of meeting a man you can know that he is a potential suitor or life partner. Quick judgments are often more about you than the man sitting in front of you. I did it for about 30 years and I experienced all the hurt, confusion, frustration, hopelessness, boredom, and exhaustion that comes with it. There are about 45 million single men over the age of 35 in the United States, about 7 million in Britain and 2 million in Australia. And before you say…but, Bobbi, these aren’t quality men. If you’re like I used to be as a single gal, it’s because it gives you permission to stay the same and stay single. Unless he spits when he talks, smells, or is drunk; give him a chance.As a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, I conducted a survey and asked women to tell me their biggest dating challenge as a woman in her 40s, 50s and beyond. You are merely a victim of nasty and sad circumstance, rather than a strong, smart woman in charge of her life. Quickly dismissing men is most often about self-protection and reliving past experiences in the present.
So what’s a midlife woman who was raised in a world where men were “supposed” to make the first move do?Well, many women would argue that the same comment applies to dating after 60.Not only are there statistically fewer men, but the dynamic of human engagement, and style of personal connection, has changed dramatically since we were dating in our 20’s.Many men come in every day to get their cup of chai or latte. Start a casual conversation with the man standing in line and smile! At this point, you’re just looking to make a friendly connection.When you sit down, don’t immediately pull out your mobile phone or book. When you are out with a dog or young child, there is a natural and comfortable energy about you.
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Let single girlfriends know that you are actively looking for a relationship – maybe they know someone who is perfect for you!